Can you want a relationship and still be happy with your life?

An 11-year study of 2,930 never-married adults in Germany offers a more detailed picture of single life. Researchers followed participants across three age cohorts, examining life satisfaction, satisfaction with being single, sexual satisfaction and desire for a partner.

Most remained satisfied with life

The largest group in each age cohort remained relatively satisfied with life across the study: about 94% in the youngest cohort, 95% in the young-adult cohort and 88% in the midlife cohort.

That does not mean everyone was happy every day. These were patterns in participants’ reported life satisfaction over time, rather than a claim that single life is always easy.

Being happy didn’t mean loving everything about singlehood

As coauthor Geoff MacDonald explains, life satisfaction and satisfaction with being single are different questions. Roughly two-thirds of the youngest cohort belonged to a group highly satisfied with singlehood. Moderate satisfaction was more common in the older cohorts.

Wanting a partner was also common. Only about 9% to 15% across the cohorts fell into groups with low desire for a relationship. Being content with life did not necessarily mean having no interest in sharing it with someone.

Some became happier while remaining single

Small groups in the two younger cohorts began with lower life satisfaction and improved over time, approaching the more satisfied majority. The dominant pattern was stability, rather than an inevitable decline or a universal transformation.

That distinction matters. There was room in the findings for people whose lives felt good already and for people whose experience improved while they remained single.

What does this mean for how we talk about single life?

A relationship status cannot tell us everything about someone’s well-being. Someone can enjoy the life they have and still hope for a relationship. Those feelings can exist together.

The study followed a German sample using data from 2009/10 through 2020/21. It does not establish that single people are happier than couples or that remaining single causes happiness. Its findings do challenge the assumption that life satisfaction must wait for a partner.

Have you ever been happy being single, only to have other people insist something was missing?

Written by Siri Alexander
Published by WHH Media Network

Sources: Study by Elaine Hoan, Geoff MacDonald and Matthew D. Johnson; Geoff MacDonald’s explanation of the findings.